We have created a monster!!

So I am VERY stubborn! Guess what? So is my husband! Why did we think it was ok to have an equally as stubborn son?!? Ok we didnt really have a choice (and of course we wouldnt want tp trade him for anything/one!) but man he is sooooo stubborn and the worst thing is that its sooooooo cute! He has suddenly learned this really annoying and cute high pitch squeal. Im not sure why, but it started about 2 weeks ago and he seems to do it when he is annoyed or wants us to do something different (ie hold him a certain way, stop changing him, give him his toy etc!). We have been laughing at it because it caught us by surprise and I love hearing the change in his "language" but I think we are just making it worse. He now knows that we think its funny and will do it when he is happy too. I asked my mom how she dealt with me at this age when I became so demanding and she said she just ignored the behavior. I tried that and I got screamed at more! We seriously have our hands full with this one!

Jeans DO make the girl!

So I am finally feeling like my old self again. Lately I haven't felt like myself, I have been feeling like some frumpy, fat, ugly person (I can't even say woman b/c I feel non-feminine). I am really upset about this weight thing and refused to buy clothes in a bigger size. Well a cool front came through and gave me no choice but to buy new jeans that actually fit! I forgot how much I missed jeans!! Or really anything but stupid goucho pants! I can't explain it but wearing jeans make me feel like I am pretty and non frumpy and even kind of girly. I have also joined Weight Watchers and man is it an eye opener! The program has really showed me that I don't eat as good as I thought I was. I have already lost 5lbs and I am hoping that it will keep coming off!

On another note, Jacob is getting teeth! The first one broke though last Wednesday and the second one is breaking through today. No more gummy smiles...now thay are going to be teeth smiles!

He made me do it!

So I made my hubby promise to force me to walk at least 30 minutes a day no matter what and guess what...he did it! Last night after Jacob was in bed and we were getting ready to go to sleep as well, I remembered that I hadn't walked yet. I was going to say oh well ill just do it tomorrow, but nope he motivated me to do it anyways. Ok I have to admit it wasnt 30 minutes, but we went up and down the stairs a few times (and I realized my legs are REALLY out of shape and we have super steep stairs!) and then just walked around the house. We felt like dorks but it was kind of fun. I always forget that when you start exercising you dont want to stop (yeah I know strange, I actually like exercise, I just dont have time!) so we crunches and then went to bed. Tonight I will try to actually walk BEFORE bed.

Ok now I want to brag!

I love my little man so much! I love my hubby too! I have such a good life, I really shouldnt complain but anyone who knows me knows I like to complain. Im so proud of Jacob! He is such a good baby. He can sit on his own for a minute but all he wants to do is stand. He LOVES to stand and jump! When i finally force him to sit him flings himself backwards so he can stand. He is trying to crawl to! He can get his legs up and bent but his arms just lay there. Yep thats my fault because I dont make him do enough tummy time! Oops! But he can scoot! Im going to be in trouble once he can figure out how to get to a standing position on his own! He also loves to eat (uhoh!). He loves veggies! I can't believe how much he loves them! So far hes tried peas, green beans, zucchini, sweet potato and squash. He will be trying carrots later this week. I would share pics but I can't find my camera charger :(. At least I got some pretty cute videos that I will share tomorrow.

I need to vent, ramble on

Ok so its been a while...sorry for that. I have found that I dont have that much time to just sit and write. I am so depressed right now. I love my family, love my life, love my job...I just hate how I look. I dont feel like me anymore. I never do my hair because I dont have time in the morning. I dont wear makeup because I just dont see a point. I never wear jewelry because I just forget. I wear these stupid goucho pants because NOTHING ELSE FITS!!!! I dont know why I cant lose any weight. I know im not eating the best, but I know I am eating MUCH better than I was a month ago but I still havent lost anything. I rarely eat fast food now, when we eat out I stay away from fried food. I dont eat that many sweets and I have even been cooking more. I just dont understand. I have no time to work out, though I am pledging to walk everyday for 30 minutes no matter what. Even if I have to walk in my house, I am going to walk. I just feel like my life is on hold till I lose the weight. I really want to have another child soon. Yes I said it! I am already getting the baby itch! But everyone that knows me well knows that I want to have all my kids close in age, no more that 2 yrs a part. I love the relationship that my siblings and I have and I truely believe its because we are so close in age. I really wanted to start trying again in December but I just dont see that happening with the way things are. I am just too overweight and will the health problems I already have, it would be really stupid to try anytime soon. Unfortunately it doesnt change how my heart feels. Im leaving it up to God and I will try to have patience and lose the weight the right way. It is extremely tempting to glue my mouth shut for two weeks! Ok sorry for that! I just had to get that out. I know every new mother goes through a time where she loses herself, Im just ready to find myself and be happy with who I am again.

My Boss

I may smack my boss this week! Yes he is my dad and I love him but he is driving me crazy and I am pretty sure I am driving him crazy too. Crap is hitting that fan at work and we all need a day off (although I technically took mine off Monday for a sick day)! Can't wait till Friday! Love ya Brusky! (Nickname for my dad)

Time for a change...for real this time!

So its time for a change. Im always trying to change myself, become a better person but I always fall back into the same habits. I have no choice this time. I am a mom. I have to change for him. The most important change I have to make is in my spiritual life. Its so easy to put God on the back burner and only "use" him during the hard times. I dont want to be like that but its what always happens. I start quiet time or small group and for a while I do good. I learn and our relationship is great until I start to get lazy. Then I slowly start to go back to the same routine and leave God out, until of course I need something. Another thing I need to change is my health. I have two health issues,PCOS and Intracranial Hypertension, that will pretty much disappear if I can lose weight. I try to eat healthy but unfortunately I just dont like "healthy" food. Most of it stems from the fact that my mom got sick when I was young and Hannah and I had to learn how to cook before we were teens. The only thing we knew how to cook was Hamburger Helper and corn. Sometimes we had no choice but to have fast food. Now its just so easy to eat out instead of cook, even though I LOVE to cook. But as I said before, I have no choice. I want to be healthy for my family. I want to grow old with my best friend and love of my life. I want to see (literally see!) my kids get married. So I have a lot of work to do!

List of changes I want to make in my life:
More time for God
Better eating habits
Better cleaning habits...We have habit of only cleaning once a month
Better work ethic...its easy to slack when you work for the family biz
My language...I have a bad habit of cussing...I know this may be a shock to some but when I am in a comfortable setting I have a habit of cussing. Of course there are certain words I never say, but still, cussing is cussing...I blame my dad!
Thats all for now!

Hospital bills Suck!

I had Jacob in April and some of my bills are already going to collections...what the heck?!? I swear on some of these I have never even gotten a bill! And crazy CLRMC is trying to keep my $3k deductible that I dont owe them! One thing that I want to know is why do they charge you $25k for a c-section when I have a separate bill from the OB, room and board, nursery, and anathesiaologist (yes I spelled that wrong). What the heck is covered under the $25k?? Am I paying to lay on the table?? Oh well eventually I will pay off all these medical bills. Better start saving for the next one!!

So I started a blog

Ive always wanted a blog. I LOVE to read other peoples blogs and who knows maybe someone would love to read mine. I apologize now if I rant or vent. Im going to consider this a journal so good luck! Get ready for some craziness!